I've been constantly warned about someone who I love so much. But for almost six years she hasn't budged. No matter what. She's not just hanging out for her health. I know she cares about me. And loves me. We have had our differences but she is always there no matter what. I think it's no secret that I've been upset lately. I'm mostly mad at myself. Facebook drama would suggest I'm having a hard time getting over the x... This isn't the case. As much as I still very much love that girl we fell out of love a long time ago and I had the balls to move forward on it. And still got the bad guy rep for it. That's ok. I mostly have been questioning why I've let certain people into life and did what they wanted me to do.. Live the life they wanted. No one ever let me be me and now I feel kinda lost. Trying to be a good person. I've made some mistakes.. But who doesn't. I'm trying to change my luck. I care about being with one person and if that doesn't happen. Then I'm not meant to date at all for awhile. And even I wanna build my life up before I can commit to her. I miss all my close friends. I hate when people grow apart. I've just always held on to people that mean something. I've never been able to discard them so easy. But after present events that exactly what I must do. It's time to change my life all together. I'm saving every penny for a car. Then to find a stable home. Then to be around people who will love me no matter what and snap the fuck out of this depression because I promise I hate it just as much as anyone who reads it hates it. But it's here and it's a part of me and I won't let it over come me. If I keep it in ill explode. And ain't nobody got time for that.
So this isn't a blog of sadness only a blog of me venting and that's about it. Wish I could report more happening with my life but still pretty much the same.
~Jenn~
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