Its been awhile...this I know...Who knows what direction this one will go. Sleep..Hasn't been my friend lately..I finally broke down and got sleeping meds today. I haven't taken them yet...the first step was buying them..so ill stare at them for while and take them. Last time I took them they made my irritated and annoyed..but I am all of those things these days, so maybe it will reverse on me. So staring at this blank screen...I get distracted by everything..Maybe it because of how many people tell me they read this..I wanna make it interesting...Life has been pretty interesting lately..I spend all night texting someone I like..probably why I don't sleep...I have been dealing with a lot of mixed emotions and feelings from the past..I sometimes feel I need to act on them..But it would be healthy for everyone if I just moved on.
Ok so that was a long pause...i was writing that at 116am..and i got a call that lasted for almost an hour.it was nice to talk to someone about random things....then stayed in my bed.,. hahah so now its 6:24 pm Wed..Today has been a good day off. I am house sitting for someone this week so i went over to her house to hang out and learn what i need to do. So that will be fun. I have kinda had a chill day..i drove around and listened to Music and just relaxed. I wanted to stop and have a drink but realized I didn't really have anyone to hang out with. Sad:( So i didn't go...I came home and spent some of my time texting someone...i do text a lot. But i get bored so its ok. Got a derby game viewing tonight...so I prolly wont finish this...Im having a beer waiting on my besty to get home..that sounded gay...waiting on my koolest friend ever to get home EMILY!! Then we are gonna head to Dilworth to watch the game..Weds night are usually our nights to do something ridiculous..so who knows..
Work. I had a woman throw a mother effin salad at me yesterday. It put in to prospective how my whole life has become something I don't want. I am obsessing on things i don't need around. I am actually 100% ok with being alone with no commitments. It refreshing if i wanna go out with my drinking buddy ASHLEY NUGGET! and have a drink I dont have to ask..I dont have to explain..i just go..I mean I got a buddy,,.,,a derby wife...and a cougar! who needs anything else! bwahahaha..all there for me! Oooo and I got a little alien...Mike wazzzzzowski!!! hes fun too;) oh and a gay boy...GAGA...hmm i see a tv show coming..hahaha..anyways...youtube has me distracted.. i believe i was talking about work. I think its time I leave so im looking for anything...anything at all...that place has gotten out of control, so many lazy people...horrible costumers and just out of control people..hence the salad woman...i wish i got her name. i think it sounded something like mid evil bitch.
Flash forward to 2:32 am. Laying in bed. Emily passed out here. Long story. She's snoring. So cute! Nic is Down Stairs with his friend I met tonight She's Pretty Kool.. So he'll come up and steal her soon;). The game viewing was fun. We were all so excited the way we played and that we beat greenville. I need to catch up the derby blog... But I've been so busy I can hardly write in this one. My life pretty much is.... Well just is...
I work all the time. And when I'm not working I have derby... Then the times I'm off fly by so quick or I always have something to do.. It's so annoying!!!! I'm in severe need of a vacation.. This weekend I took off.. Bass church then we are all going to movie premier of Derby Baby in Atlanta.. Because our team was in it! So that's exciting!! We are gonna all hang out, do something fun..and just enjoy! I wish it were the beach though. Not gonna lie. I need a week at the beach vacation..
I feel like I'm writing out of my ass. I never say what I originally wanna say. My blogs use it be so much better.. I just guess I have so many more feelings I'm not ready to
Come to terms with yet.. So that gives u something to look forward to reading. Hahah anyways I'm closing this one out. Go read my past blogs. It will get u to know me more!! Thanks for reading!!
~jenn~
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
Storms scare me..
It's storming. Seems like the
First time since I've lived here. I'm laying in bed and it's dark and the lighting. Yikes. If you know me then you know exactly why I hate it. It's raining pretty bad here and the wind is
Shifting my window so it's knocking.
But it's peaceful. Lots changing around me just like this horrible weather. Mostly just like the sunny hot days I get my hopes up for something amazing only for it get dark and dreary again. It's ok, I don't much mind the dreary lately. Even if pain is what I feel it's lets me know I'm alive...I had a dream last night ...well several insane dreams. One was I wondered if I could
Make it alone. With out her.. Then I woke up scared and then realized it happened and I am and didn't know where I was.. That's the first time anything like that has ever happened to me. It threw me off. My dreams are insane lately. But I love dreaming. It's the number one reason I sleep. Otherwise sleep is a waste of time for me when there are so many other things I could be doing. I need to sleep. I picked up a double tomorrow. On a sat?! CIAA weekend?! I know. But if I don't work I literally go
Crazy out of my mind. I haven't been doing much lately.. We got the house we looked at so we are moving next week. It will be kinda nice that no one really knows where. I feel like I can start over. In a sense. My room is pretty awesome. And it has closets.. It's not a closet. Haha. Jk I love my little room.. But I can't wait to
Color coordinate my clothes again and hang them up;) I think it's a great place and me and Emily both wants dogs.. One that no one can take from me again. It has a nice fenced in yard and an art studio in back. Emily got excited and suggested I use it for my green screen and videos.. She's so supportive of me. And what I love. She's an amazing friend. I joke around and tell her if I ever decide to date agin that anyone i date prolly won't like her. But no one really understands our relationship. But I get long amazingly with her man friend mike wazowski! Haha. I have him that NIC-name hahah hes pretty Kool. And she smiles around him. So that good enough for me! But most people aren't Kool like that. We went on an outdoor skate tonight and it was so much fun.. She took me to a huge parking deck and we took the elevator up and flew down. It was so much fun. I was scared a little haha she's a daredevil. Then we skated back home. It was a fun night. And burped sushi all night bc we went to a cute little sushi place. And i got her hooked on Friday night lights which I'm sad to say ended. Rats!!
I hear so many sirens.. Perks of living next to the hospital. Sounds bad. There are a ton of them. People never know how to drive in this weather.
So I've had a couple of decent job opportunities. Waiting is the hardest part. Chilis is just well it's Chilis. The staff we have now are just..wow. I mean we have a few decent people. But man.. No work ethic. It's just overwhelming now. I'm ready for a
Change. In everything ...in life. Derby is the one thing I have going for me that I don't wanna change. Maybe be better and faster. Aspire to jam?! I don't know.. Could happen. But. Change is good. No more chasing someone
Who clearly never wanted me.. No more being silly and remembering why I am who I am.. And why most people love me. No more letting people make me feel unimportant. I've always been terrified to be alone. But I'm not now. It's hard hearing about the x and all she's done... Comes with having mutual friends. Realizing you were dumb and gullible is a hard pill to swallow. But its a lesson learned. I think I've just about figure out the perfect lay out of the common douche canoe and how to spot them. Prevent it from happening again. I have good people to talk to. Well one I live with me and one who I text alllllll the time. Who I wish i saw more!! I feel good knowing I have them to listen. I'm normally the listener. And everyone vents to me.
But things are looking up. Ready for this move and hopefully more work and more derby! Anyways that's about it. My random thoughts.. The storm is gone for the moment and now I can sleep. I'm weird about laying in bed alone when it storms. It's amazing and horrifying at the same time to me :-/ anyways thanks for reading. And yeah that's all I got...
~jenn~
First time since I've lived here. I'm laying in bed and it's dark and the lighting. Yikes. If you know me then you know exactly why I hate it. It's raining pretty bad here and the wind is
Shifting my window so it's knocking.
But it's peaceful. Lots changing around me just like this horrible weather. Mostly just like the sunny hot days I get my hopes up for something amazing only for it get dark and dreary again. It's ok, I don't much mind the dreary lately. Even if pain is what I feel it's lets me know I'm alive...I had a dream last night ...well several insane dreams. One was I wondered if I could
Make it alone. With out her.. Then I woke up scared and then realized it happened and I am and didn't know where I was.. That's the first time anything like that has ever happened to me. It threw me off. My dreams are insane lately. But I love dreaming. It's the number one reason I sleep. Otherwise sleep is a waste of time for me when there are so many other things I could be doing. I need to sleep. I picked up a double tomorrow. On a sat?! CIAA weekend?! I know. But if I don't work I literally go
Crazy out of my mind. I haven't been doing much lately.. We got the house we looked at so we are moving next week. It will be kinda nice that no one really knows where. I feel like I can start over. In a sense. My room is pretty awesome. And it has closets.. It's not a closet. Haha. Jk I love my little room.. But I can't wait to
Color coordinate my clothes again and hang them up;) I think it's a great place and me and Emily both wants dogs.. One that no one can take from me again. It has a nice fenced in yard and an art studio in back. Emily got excited and suggested I use it for my green screen and videos.. She's so supportive of me. And what I love. She's an amazing friend. I joke around and tell her if I ever decide to date agin that anyone i date prolly won't like her. But no one really understands our relationship. But I get long amazingly with her man friend mike wazowski! Haha. I have him that NIC-name hahah hes pretty Kool. And she smiles around him. So that good enough for me! But most people aren't Kool like that. We went on an outdoor skate tonight and it was so much fun.. She took me to a huge parking deck and we took the elevator up and flew down. It was so much fun. I was scared a little haha she's a daredevil. Then we skated back home. It was a fun night. And burped sushi all night bc we went to a cute little sushi place. And i got her hooked on Friday night lights which I'm sad to say ended. Rats!!
I hear so many sirens.. Perks of living next to the hospital. Sounds bad. There are a ton of them. People never know how to drive in this weather.
So I've had a couple of decent job opportunities. Waiting is the hardest part. Chilis is just well it's Chilis. The staff we have now are just..wow. I mean we have a few decent people. But man.. No work ethic. It's just overwhelming now. I'm ready for a
Change. In everything ...in life. Derby is the one thing I have going for me that I don't wanna change. Maybe be better and faster. Aspire to jam?! I don't know.. Could happen. But. Change is good. No more chasing someone
Who clearly never wanted me.. No more being silly and remembering why I am who I am.. And why most people love me. No more letting people make me feel unimportant. I've always been terrified to be alone. But I'm not now. It's hard hearing about the x and all she's done... Comes with having mutual friends. Realizing you were dumb and gullible is a hard pill to swallow. But its a lesson learned. I think I've just about figure out the perfect lay out of the common douche canoe and how to spot them. Prevent it from happening again. I have good people to talk to. Well one I live with me and one who I text alllllll the time. Who I wish i saw more!! I feel good knowing I have them to listen. I'm normally the listener. And everyone vents to me.
But things are looking up. Ready for this move and hopefully more work and more derby! Anyways that's about it. My random thoughts.. The storm is gone for the moment and now I can sleep. I'm weird about laying in bed alone when it storms. It's amazing and horrifying at the same time to me :-/ anyways thanks for reading. And yeah that's all I got...
~jenn~
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