I think I need some change in my life. It occurred to me that I keep doing the same things. And I keep getting the same results. Insanity right? Always bartendjng. Always settling for whatever. I need to do something about my life. I feel so stuck and trapped in a cycle of nothing. As always people are trying to bring me down. I've never really been sure. I've always tried to do the right thing. I wish I knew where to start. I am almost 33 and have not much to show for it. Sometimes I wanna fall asleep and sleep forever because I'm just so tired of everything...proving myself to people and for what? My brain thinks to much. My heart constantly hurts and when I try to make something work someone tries to stop it. There has to be more interesting people out there to sabotage than me right? The things I wanna write and get out I don't even want people to see... But I need to talk...another horrible cycle ...I keep thinking I find what I need in my life and then it just goes away...I'm not picky. Or needy...or complicated... And maybe that complicates everyone else??? Does anyone read this? Probably not anymore....I feel like disappearing again ....saving lots of money...and getting to know me...because I'm so far lost these days...I'd like to find Jenn again..yeah I think I'll try...gnight.
~Jenn~
