So it's obviously been a super long time since I've written anything in this. My life has completely changed once again. I have a separate compartment in my brain that I've stored away thoughts I've wanted to put in this blog. I'm always like 'oh I need to write about this and talk about that.' see my computer kinda went on a vacation from working and hasn't come back. And writing this on my phone isn't super easy.. But I'll try. Last time I wrote in this for real, i had a different life, a different job, a car, someone else...but its all changed. Chili's was the first thing to change. I really enjoyed working there, for the most part. but I was so glad that is all done with. I was unemployed for about a week, then got a job bar tending downtown. Things were looking up. I then lost my car. I couldn't afford it is what it came down to..so they threw off my whole schedule. I had to work around when I could get a ride. My boss did not wanna work around this..so it eventually ended with me having to leave bc he thought bc i missed a shift one day due to transportation he would only schedule me on days i couldn't work and gave my good decent shifts i could make it to, to someone else. So forcing me to pretty much just leave. and yeah currently looking for work. I know it always seems to work out with me. Its just the always going crazy again that bothers me. Eh. what can you do. things happen for a reason, or that's what i am forced to believe in. So much has happened since April. Still living with Emily, which is always good. except my pipes kinda blew up in my house the other day...well my shower. So i have been out at Abby's until problem gets fixed. kinda been like a vacation except I'm really bored and shes been working. i envy that she has a job she loves...not the best people to work for but she loves it. I wanna find that so bad. I wanna work and have a stable income. I hate bar tending. its good money yeah but I'm so miserable when i do it. I thought it was chili's...buts its the job description. serving people...drunk people..i absolutely loathe it. Anyways. So me and Abby are back together. Crazy huh? yeah it works..i have no excuses for reasons other than I love her. Like i said lots have changed. Things have happened with certain people that i wouldn't take back for the world..but fate just works in weird ways i suppose..not to many crazy things have happened. Abby and I have met some awesome new people...got in touch with old people...not to many things like being held at gun point have happened to me...had some crazy gas station incidents that have happened that now make me terrified to get gas after dark. oh and I've been threatened by a lesbian that looks like woody Harrison..ahhh crazies. So what else. Derby..i should write in the derby blog...but I'm not feeling very motivated much to do so..i got injured before the Columbia game and I'm sad to say i wont be returning this season. Only because it been a awhile and it feels worse. And of course as my luck would have it..my insurance got screwed up due to something ridic..and yeah waiting for that to get reinstated but they are giving me the runaround..i never really understood how that all worked..but yeah my knee keeps me up and makes me ill a lot and I hate that. I know you have to push through things if you wanna come out on top..but sometimes it gets to be to much..and I literally get so tired. Derby was going so well for me..I was finally getting more comfortable with jamming...i got better skates from someone who cared to see me go far..and I just love derby so much. Its a very hard pill to swallow.
I have plans to move. maybe have a simple low key life at the beach. it cant be to hard. I have never been one to live above her means. simple is best for me. I'm glad things with Abby are gong well.it be nice to move away.. we both have to much stress around here and I need to get away from things that hold me down and confuse me just like she does. isn't it funny how your life can change so fast. things you never thought would happen did..and things you want so badly to happen..most likely wont. This is a quote from a movie i love..and it makes me think a lot...makes sense to me.
" Look at us, running around. Always rushed, always late. I guess that's why they call it the human race. What we crave most in this world is connection. For some people it happens at first site. It's when you know you know. It's fate working its magic. And that's great for them. They get to live in a pop song. Ride the express train. But that's not the way it really works. For the rest of us, it's a bit less romantic. It's complicated, it's messy. It's about horrible timing, and fumbled opportunities. And not being able to say what you need to say when you need to say it. At least, that's the way it was for me.
Look at us Running around. Always rushed. Always late. Guess that's why they called it the human race. But sometimes, it slows down just enough for all the pieces fall into place Fate works it's magic. And you're connected.." i love that!!!!
I'm really not sure where i fit in right now..if I'm doing the right things..if I'm making the right choices..have thoughts of what my life would be if i did this...or what my life would be if i did that...so i guess ill just put myself on auto pilot and see where I go...and see where I end up. I'm not really sure what else to write other than i know i have tons to talk about but don't want to anymore. BETTER WORK>SCHLAMS! that was for Shane. anyways, the ladies have a game tomorrow. so come out and support us! doors open at 630 at metrolina expo. 1 more home game after this.. DON'T MISS IT! Ill be an ambassador due to the knee and after might go to blue bar...its a nice new little lesbian bar. its different..but I'm sure in no time someone will screw it up with drama...and that sucks..but its nice to see everyone i haven't seen in awhile. OK I'm gonna be done now..Abby is getting home soon and i wanna find something to do. thanks for reading..
Peace out!
~Jenn~
