Family

Things are about to change drastically in mine. Everything is falling it apart and I guess you just don't realize that things can change like this. Family is suppose to be the safe place and where anything changes. Not the case lately. Recently I witnessed. Michael, the "step dad" physically threaten my moms life. It was hard to step up and be there in all the cops and the drama and get my mom out of there which was hard because she had a knee replacement and she is not mobile. So it's been hard. I hate I don't have a stable place to take her right now bc I myself have lost everything I cared about. My brother is gonna drive down and take her to NY to
Settle her there and hopefully start a new life. This leaves a lot of ties open on other issues. My nephew who has one year left of high school. So I'm thinking of getting an apartment down in rock hill and making sure he finishes school and then making sure he does something with his life. I've had so many people help me and I want to
Help him. I was his age when my "step dad" pulled this shit and I moved out. And I've been on my own since.. It's been hard but it makes me a better person. I think the issues I have with just wanting stability come from a life of instability and insecurities. I might not make enough money to please certain people or dress great bc well I can't afford it. But I absolutely love who I've become because of all that's happened. Sometimes I wish I knew other people like me. This has been hard on everyone and me going through this break up because all I wanna do is run to her and hug her but i Can't. And with the present issues going on I just am going in a billion different directions on how I feel. It really really sucks! But I can get through this and succeed because it's who I am. And I'm lucky I am a strong person and I don't resort to drugs, drinking or any kind of addiction. To help me through. And good cry and I'm
Good to go again. Which I do frequently these days. Doing it right now but I'm at my sisters so I'm trying not to. Because my mom gets so upset bc of what I'm dealing with. This is like the saddest blog ever. I dont blame anyone for where I am.. I just wish some things were more important including myself sometimes... Love is worth so much more than all this crap and I fear I'm the only one that sees this... Sure this will all pass and have a positive outcome. But it's
Gonna be a hard year. Unless 2012 really happens..hahah ahhh one could dream.. Sorry. Laughter. I'm trying.

Well that's about it for this sad blog. I think instead of trying to text someone to talk to them I'm gonna just write and if anyone cares to talk to me about. They will. Today has been rough. Yes. Well this whole month. Not my favorite. Ud think it was September. That's my bad luck
Month. December was my good
Month. Not this year! Oh well we'll I'm gonna go. I'm on my phone and of course it's dying. I'm
Gonna go see someone who takes the pressure off and just chill... Sorry it's depressing.. But that's life?


~Jenn~