I think I am tired of a lot of stuff. Sometimes I wonder is worth writing about..I enjoy writing..why? I haven't figured it out yet. But I do..sometimes it leads to a lot of random um yeahs and anyways...sometimes it leads to feelings I have...I...ME...MY THOUGHTS! not yours ( you not being anyone in particular) I shouldn't even have to say that ...if you read anything I write and think its about you...good or bad...and you don't like it...well then you must be guilty of it..Like when someone steals something and someone says something about it, the person guilty automatically looks down or starts blaming people...that's a fact people! I don't make this shit up!
Enough of that analyzing stuff. Which I told I do to much. But I don't wanna waste my time on something that will in the end hurt me, I am not interested in being hurt...I know oooo pity party, I cant change the fact that I'm hurt. I cant change the fact I didn't feel good, it doesn't feel good. At all, be it my fault or someone else's...I am trying to fix why it was or wasn't a direct cause of something I did or what someone else did..I know the signs, And now that I'm starting life fresh. I am going to pay very close attention to all these signs...
I am not interested In having a relationship right now...I cant just go from a whole life to another that fast...It doesn't feel good to me...I was trying to work on something...I do care...But its to up and down and to much....So I stopped it. I had to.
I am moving on, which it what I should have done from the start...I have never been good at chasing girls, when you decide it wont work, as much as it might hurt, I just stop...doesn't mean I didn't care, doesn't mean I don't still love you...just means I respect everything...Girls like to be chased...either you want it or not, I never got why girls cant just admit there feelings...I mean Ive gone from disliking someone to being in love to not caring for them...and vice versa, and I am ok with expressing this. I am not interested in being led on..or leading anyone on. eh beating a dead horse really..ewwe..hahah
On a better note..I have some new people, and I enjoy my new 330am breakfast at Dennys in rock hill after bar tending..didn't get home till 530 this Friday and back up for pride, with some new people I like a lot and my boyfriend Shane GaGa..hahah dork. We didn't stay long bc I had to work, which is also the other if not the only story of my life. Its going good, but it is taking a tole on my body...work all day and night and roller derby the nights im am off...its gonna be a tough ride...but rewarding, bc I need this. I am learning alot of derby stuff and getting to know everyone..its so nice. We went on a 4 mile hike early this morning. Everyone brought their dogs, it was just good fun and great work out...over 9000 steps and 500 calories!
This sat I am going to Ren Festival! I am excited! Taking somebody i think is pretty koo! That's all I am saying..and Tim and Hopefully Shane gaga ooo and Allen!! so yeah...YAY but then i have to work...yuck...
SO..I think I got to much going on in this brain im gonna call it a night..gnight...
~Jenn~
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