Are you team demon?

a little bit of her..i like it.

A little bit of importance..

I'm a rebel! ;)

It's 1am, i like frosted flakes.

So how long has it been since I wrote here? I have been through so much since my real last entry, but mostly all good stuff this time. First off, Abby and I are doing well. We got a cute little place in Ballantyne and we are making this work..sure we are working our ass off and I feel like I never see her. But at night...I have her beside me and it feels great. I am not use to writing about love and all that mushy stuff, if you know me then you know how most of my blogs are blunt and not so sweet...but honest. eh..ok so there is so much to talk about. I have pretty much started over in life...this time the smart way, not that i ever made bad decisions..but I can honestly say I gave people to much of my trust and it ran me in the ground. Now I have a little group of friends..and I like it that way..I have Chewie and Shane..I enjoy a couple of my regulars I have met bar-tending...and my derby girls.And of course Abby..my best...its a nice balance and no crazies involved. Doesn't mean I got them out of my life..but they are not directly involved anymore..some people baffle me and the way they think...like getting a text message from someone who deleted and added you on Facebook more then they prolly change their underwear...someone who was a complete cheating jerk..and pretty much took myself from me...and told me they were proud of me recently..hahaha really? What side of crazy did you wake up on that day? I dontt ever need you to tell me your proud of my accomplishments..ever. That was an ignored text..speaking of my phone, I went to restore and boy did i ever ...right back to the beginning of time..hahaha and i forgot to back it up recently...so it was like my phone was living in January again..hahah but it backed it up to calls and texts i hadn't seen in forever...that was funny. That is the only reason I hate the iPhone. Not kool!

Now on to more neat things...I was in my first Derby game July this past month...It was amazing..I was worried about falling when they called me out and introduced me..so scared..but once that went away...it was fine...I only played a few times, I have so much to learn...but I love it and every practice I get it more and more. The reason it has taking me so long..well here is the story...haha I joined when they first started...Then my relationship turned out to be a sham so this put me in the depressed state...and I had to move in with joy and work more so I didn't have much time for derby...sad. Well then I finally got a place and life was good...and I had three jobs but made it to derby...well then...crazy is as crazy does..I had another unfortunate situation and so I had to move to Indian trail...so more work...less derby...to much driving..well got life figured out a bit...Abby being there for me..it started going well. I made time for derby and I have been going strong ever since...And They are so awesome to understand all the ridiculous stuff I went through..And I do not plan on ever leaving...as long as I can help it. I have finally reached the goal of being in the game so now...I wanna be the best I can be for the team. I have gotten beat up and last Thursday a punch in the face, by an unidentified fist..hahah no hard feelings...The more i hurt after practice the happier I am I do this..


I got noticed tonight at work from my article in the newspaper (http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2011/07/10/2436583/novices-find-fun-friendships-in.html) .about derby ...I was happy about that. She said shes seen the team around and sometimes does work where we practice, she thought it was awesome, and of course i tried to talk her in to joining..Anyone who reads this and is interested, you should totally inquire about it..you'll love it!


Gah I miss my GF...shes not withme at the moment..and It effin stinks..I miss you!! II am kinda disappointed in the writing tonight..I have so much more in my head, why the hell cant i type it...I think because I keep looking forward the things I want to happen in the future that writing about anything in the past might bring me down and isn't worth it.

So I think ill end it now..its 2am and I am getting tired...time to watch Apple Tv till I pass out...and im gonna cuddle with Tye..Thanks for reading...Ill try and keep up more of this..it makes me feel better to write..so Gnight all...and goodnight Abby,,i miss you!


~Jenn~

Just an update..

There is indeed much to write about...but I am sleepy but i did wanna post this...because I am so very happy I finally did it!! Thanks to all of the help and awesomeness you all gave me!! I am ready to kick ass!!

http://racecityrollerderby.com/author/jennifer-phillips/

~Jenn~

lets rearrange..

Have you ever loved someone so much..that you really just cant put in to words how much you actually do. And no ,matter how much you seem to show it, you just cant get the feeling across. It all started with a girl...who was broken. More broken than she will ever let anyone know...presently still. Who uses her joking and humor as away to feel accepted and not so insecure. Who trys to work so much so she doesn't have time to think straight. Enter gorgeous girl, without a care in the world. So much freedom on life..and doesn't need to worry about much. The two meet..one who is so stressed out from life and one who takes life day by day...Now the first girl...really is care free...so is the second...they meet, and it seems to be the most perfect thing..So why does girl number one get scared.

In case you don't know, girl number one is me. Insecurity seems to be my middle name. I will never run or give up. I just want to make everyone happy, and I want everyone to not hurt and to smile..and I just want the whole world to be. OK. I separate myself from everyone most of the time mentally. I look at things differently and I see whats important. Do i get worried? sure. Do i stress out? who doesnt? I know things are ok..but just as I think they can be...something happens. yet I keep on moving day to day living life forgiving and forgetting. Its what I do best. I am not a fighter..I have pretty much removed myself from stressful situations. So why do I feel so out of place..maybe im use to chaos..and I dont know how to handle the calm:/

So yeah..im not really sure where this is going...I just know..my life needs to take a turn for some goodness. I am ready to have a real job and be a little more stable..I don't know what stable it..I mean really stable...a home to call my own and to stay put. This moving thing is getting to be a tad bit ridiculous. I use to be able to write so well..but now, im not sure what to say?

I know I am ready for the summer...and to skate as much as possible. and to become extremely well at it..I really try so hard to make this my biggest priority but its so hard when you have to work all the time..That is why i need a stable early in the day job..eh one day;)


and...yeah after this kool phone call i had, im done writing. gnight.


~Jenn~